Must Read: Lost Of Virginity

7 years ago

Must Read: Lost Of Virginity

Richard and I moved into the living room
finding
ourselves a spot on the couch. I sat on
one end
while Richard sat on the other. The
fireplace was
burning brightly illuminating the dark
room in
which all the windows were covered with
maroon
coloured curtains blocking out the sun.
I looked over at my older brother,
visually
scanning his body. He didn’t look gay, he
didn’t
act gay and as much as I really didn’t care
it was
still so hard to believe that my brother
was
actually attracted to men. My brother
was a jock,
he played football and was actually good
at it, all
his friends were guys and he didn’t care
about
how he looked. Some days he’d get out
of bed
and grab clothes off the floor, throw
them on and
leave for school.

All my life I thought gay guys were all
flamboyant,
do their hair in the morning, put make
up on and
say things like Oh. My. God. And No she
didn’t.
You know, only had girlfriends and
giggled when
a hot guy walked by, tried to change their
voice
into a high-pitched screech. But Trent’s
not like
that, he is the complete opposite, he acts
and
looks and is like any other straight man.
He
knows everything there is to know about
cars and
trucks; I mean he actually rebuilt his own
72
Chevy all by himself!
I think that’s why the fact that my
brother is gay
bugs me so much. Usually when
someone close
to you is gay, you know it, even if they
don’t
admit it, you and everyone else still
know the
truth. Though, it’s not like that with
Trent; if I
were to even try to tell anyone Richard’s
gay no one
would believe me, I doubt anyone would
even
believe him if he said it!
“What are you thinking about?” Trent
voice broke
my thought, he sounded sad and yet his
voice
was almost shaky. “A good way to get rid
of me,
to disown your gay brother?”
“Oh shut up Richard!” I said as I threw a
side pillow
from the couch at him. “Stop feeling
sorry for
yourself, you’re gay! What’s the big deal?
Half the
population of the world is gay nowadays!”
“Does that means you’re gay to?” Richard
said
jokingly, “That would make it so much
easier to
finally being able to get everything off
my chest. I
looked over at my brother to try and tell
what he
was thinking although his face was
completely
emotionless.
“Weird…” Was his only response.
“Weird? That’s all you have to say…What’s
weird?” I asked extremely confused with
how
Richard was acting.
“Everything, nothing you told me sounds
like the
Adams I know…Other than Friday
night…But even
that, you know he has never spent a
whole night
with a girl before…Usually he’ll take off
the
second the girl falls asleep.”
“You’re not mad?” I asked him, ignoring
his
rambling. “I mean…Don’t
you…Well…Like him?”
Richard laughed, “That doesn’t matter, he
likes girls
and I don’t really have a chance.” He
said.

“Although, I don’t like the way that
he…Wait…Never mind.”
What? What was he just about to say? I
thought
while staring at my brother. Honestly I
hate it
when people start saying something and
then
change their mind! That is so fricken
annoying!
“What were you going to say?” I prodded
him.
He shook his head, “It’s not important.”
Frick that’s annoying! I wanted to scream
out.
“So then tell me.”
“No.” He said sternly, “Just leave it.”
DING DONG DANG, DING DONG DANG!
“Saved by the Bell!” Richard said while
jumping up
off the couch and running for the door.
“Richarrrrrd!” I yelled running after him.

I reached him just as he opened the
front door to reveal a short little blond
with bouncy curls. A large smile covered
her cute little face, two small dimples on
each end of her smile. “Hey Richard!”
She waved at him enthusiastically, “Mind
if I steal Jane for a bit, we’re having a
girls night,
watching One Tree Hill.”
“No, please take her away!” Richard
looked over at me and smiled.
“You can join us if you’d like Richard,
though I
doubt you’d like One Tree Hill.” Dorcas
said while
laughing at her own joke.
I didn’t laugh though I was too busy
wondering if
my brother really would like that show. I
mean
before it would never even cross my
mind, but
now, maybe he did…
“A show about a bunch of whiney
girls…No…I
tell mom and dad. I can be like, ‘Mom,
Dad…I’m
gay.’ Then they’ll say, ‘What?!’ And I’ll be
like ‘So
is Jane!!’ and point my finger as you all
dramatically.”
I started laughing at my brother’s lame
joke
before adding, “No Trent I’m not gay,
remember
I’m Adams ‘Craaazzzzy Stalkkkerrrr!'” I
said sarcastically.
“Okay, Jane…” Suddenly his voice went
completely serious. “If you aren’t
stalking Adams,
then what is going on, why do you keep
asking
about him and trying to talk to him at
school?”
I completely stopped laughing as I stared
at my
brother in shock, I wasn’t expecting him
to ask
me that and I hadn’t decided on whether
or not I
wanted to tell him the truth. Before I
didn’t want
to tell him because I figured he’d hunt
Adams
down and kick his butt0ckz, but now that I
know
Richard’s gay I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t
risk
breaking a nail just to punch some guy
out. I’m
scared to tell Richard because from his
reaction
earlier I’m pretty sure my brother likes
the same
guy that I do. I don’t know how he would
react if
he found out what truly happened
between Adams
and I.

“Come on Jane…Just tell me, I’m going
to end
up finding out either way and I’d rather
hear it
from you.”
He had a good point. I breathed deeply
summoning up enough nerve to tell him
the truth.
“It all started last Friday… when Adams
was
staying the night here…” I started before
I began
to spill everything to my brother. I told
him
everything about that Friday night, how
Adams
was in bedroom waiting for me, how he
was gone
in the morning. I told him about the
janitor’s
closet, how he left me when Tabitha
showed up. I
told him how Adams showed up at my
house in
the middle of the night and took me to
his ‘secret
spot’ where we stayed up all night
talking. How
he embarrassed me in front of half the
school this
afternoon and then how I met Brandon
and Dorcas.
After I finally finished telling him
everything relief
washed over me, it was the first time I
had talked
to anyone about Adams and it was quite
liberating
think I’ll pass.” He actually sounded a bit
disgusted by the thought, “You girls have
fun
though.” He went back into the house. As
I
watched him disappear I decided I’d find
out later
what he was about to say.
“Ready?” Dorcas asked pointing toward
her Yellow
2009 Volkswagen beetle.
“For sure!” I replied while following her
over to
her car, “Cute car, honestly it suits you!”
“Thanks, my parents got it for me for my
birthday.”

“If you have your own car, why were you
walking
today? You know when Brandon forgot to
pick
you up after lunch.” I asked her while
getting into
the passenger’s seat.
“Urg…Thanks for reminding me, I can’t
believe he
just left me there! ‘Effin dink.” Dorcas
said as she
put her keys in the ignition and started
up the
car. “He usually picks me up in the
morning for
school. The Brown’s live next door to me
so it’s
pointless for us to both bring our
vehicles.”

“Oh great…” I spoke sarcastically as I
pulled my
seatbelt on and we pulled out of the
drive way.
“You live like right next to them? like-”
“-Like jump out of my bedroom window
and land
in their house right next to them? Yup.”
Dorcas said
finishing my sentence and answering my
question
at the same time.

I sighed loudly while thinking about how
maybe
going to Dorcas’ house was a bad idea. I
didn’t
want to see Adams and I had a good
feeling that
it was going to be nearly impossible with
him
only being two feet away.
“Is that okay, Jane?” Dorcas asked me,
finally
realizing my sudden change in mood.
“Yah, that’s fine.” I lied.
The rest of the ride to Dorcas’ house was
pretty
uneventful; we talked about school and
upcoming
projects for our classes. It was about a
fifteen
minute drive from my house to Dorcas’
and as we
turned onto her street I recognized right
away
which of the houses were Brandon and
Adams.
It was a large white house with black
linings and
roof. The house had a complete circular
driveway
with a large fountain in the middle of it.
There was
a large three door garage that seemed to
be
completely useless seeing as both
Adams’ GMC
truck and Brandon’s SUV were both
parked on the
driveway.

Just my luck, I thought to myself, they’re
both home.
Dorcas pulled into the driveway of the
house right
next to the white one. Her house wasn’t
nearly as
big though it was just as nice. The whole
house
was a pale brown color made of stucco
with large
windows covering the front of the house.
There
was a large balcony on the second floor
that went
from one side of the house to the other.
“We’re here!” Dorcas turned to look at
me a large
smile plastered across her face. “We
have ten minutes before One Tree Hill
starts.”
“Oh, well then we better hurry!” I said
trying to mimic Dorcas’ excitement when
in reality I wasn’t very much of a One
Tree Hill fan. The only reason
I agreed to go was because according to
Dorcas ‘I didn’t have a choice in the
matter’.

I felt a little bad, it was the first time
Dorcas and I
were actually hanging out and maybe my
only
chance in having a real friend and
already I was
basing our friendship on lies. Well,
technically I
didn’t lie to her, she never asked me if I
watched
or liked the show. I’m guessing she just
assumed
seeing as almost all the girls at our
school loved it.

Within seconds we were inside Dorcas’
house,
sitting on the couch in the living room
with bowls
of popcorn in our hands. “Almost on!!”
Dorcas
clapped her hands together excitingly
before
turning her attention to me.

She was prettying much jumping on the
couch
with excitement and yet I was just sitting
there
bored. I was just starting to yawn when I
realized
Dorcas was still staring at me with
narrowed eyes.
“What?” I asked, dumbfounded to the
fact that
Dorcas was obviously confused with my
lack of
excitement. “Oh! Yah…umm, yay? One
Tree Hill…yay!”

Okay…So I’ll definitely never make it as
an actor.

“Okay? That was the worse attempt at
excitement
ever!” Dorcas stated while laughing at my
academy award performance “You’ve
never watched the show have you?”
“Not really…and by that I mean no.” I
finally admitted, “Never.”
“Really!?” and the excited Dorcas was
back, “Oh my God! You’re going to love
it, seriously!” She was back to jumping up
and down on the couch,
every so often knocking popcorn out of
the bowl
and onto the floor.
So, the show wasn’t as bad as I thought it
was
going to be. I mean there were a bit of
whiney
girls like my brother said but all in all it
was
pretty interesting. It was nice to watch a
show
with almost as much drama as my own
life – it
made me feel a little bit better.
“You know, Hailey and Nathan’s
relationship, like in the beginning kind of
reminds me of you and
Adams’.” Dorcas said as the previews for
next week came to an end.

“There is no relationship between me
and Adams.”
I informed her.
“Yah, keep telling yourself that.” Dorcas
said while
placing her empty bowl on the coffee
table. “But you like him right?”
“Why does that matter?” I questioned
her.
“Because we’re friends now and friends
tell each
other stuff like that.” She continued to
hassle me for the truth.
“Okay…Sure, I kind of like him but he’s
still a
J0yst!ck!” I blurted out the truth came out.
A sweet little ‘awww so cute’ smile
covered Dorcas’
face, “He’s only like that because he’s not
used to
actually having feelings for someone.”
“Yah…Sure that’s what it is.” I spoke to
her like
she was crazy and in need of medication
or at the
very least sedation!

He’s a senior at high school, he’s had
tones of girls and yet Dorcas was sitting
there trying to tell me he was being
‘shy’? I’m sure that was the
reason, I mean usually when you like
someone
and you’re shy you decide to embarrass
them in
front of half the school, that’s always the
best
way to go about it.

“Okay, enough about me and my love
life, who do
you like?” I decided to change the
subject.
“No one!” Dorcas almost yelled as her
cheeks flushed deep red.
“You’re lying!” I accused her.
“So what, I’m not telling you!” She folded
her arms and turned her head away from
me.

“You have to… We’re friends now and
friends tell each other stuff like that.” I
smiled, knowing she had to tell me now
seeing as that was her own rule.
“Fine!” She turned to face me, her face
still as red as an apple. “I like….”
Grabbed the pillow from the
couch and pressed it against her face
shyly. She spoke into the pillow muffling
her words,
“Brhufen.”
I took the pillow from her, “What was
that?!” I smiled.
“Brandon!” She finally said clearly as my
eyes widened and I stared at her in
shock .
“I am in love with him” she said as my
eyes unconsciously became even bigger.