Must Read: Cancer

Episode 7 years ago

Must Read: Cancer

We all couldn’t help but laugh
Me: but Rasak this is not funny ooo, wetin I do u now?
Kc: shey na because this guy slim na hin make u bring Fernando Flatscreeno for am
At the sound of ‘Fernando Flatscreeno’ we all couldn’t control our laughter. To be candid the babe was a real flat screen, no offshore no onshore, nothing to dicotomise
Flo: but Rasak u wicked ooo, I was thinking it was her sister u wan dash this guy before
Acme: omo, when two bones meet, one go bend for the other ni ooo
TJ: I sure say na tee go bend for this one oooo, cos I hear say kogi babes na die
Me: am not even interested not to even talk of bending
Acme: but tee, it won’t be fair if you just abandon the babe like that ooo, what do u want Rasak to tell her
Me: Anything he like make he tell her jare,
Rasak: oya tee no vex, but please just follow her talk today and find wey to just discharge her, she don dey wahala me since morning abeg
Me: ok sha, but u owe me one ooo
Rasak: no wahala
Kc: oko Fernando Flatscreeno
Me: na u sabi.


All this while the babe was still standing close to the gutter until Rasak walked over to her and signal me to join him. We got talking and to make the matter worse, she was stark illiterate. *double wahala for dead body* she lead me into her compound and we sat at a secluded place at the back of the compound. She told me she is a hairdresser and she’s planning to have her own shop, she also said rasak has told her all about me and that she had accepted only for her to confirm from me. *chai, I don die ooo*
FF: u dint even ask for my name
Me: *abeg your name is inconsequential* oh sorry rasak already told me, but I would be calling u beauty cos u are very beautiful *yimu* *the truth is I don’t even know her name*
FF: *blushing* u are fine also
Me: thanks
Next thing, FF just moved close to me and rest her head on my shoulder
Me: *which kain wahala be this na* one mind was telling me to push her head away, but the ‘lords mind’ in me told me to take this one chance, just do and forget u ever met. I was still thinking on what to do when I noticed that my hand had found its way to her back massaging it.
Me: *this hand go put me for trouble one day*.
Ff responded swiftly and brought her lips close to mine, at first I felt irritated and was moving my heads backwards, all of a sudden her lips met mine, I dint respond both slowly she worked her way to my tongue. Damn she was a good kisser and she had this wonderful scent and her breath was damn fresh.



At this junction all the resistance left in me was broken and we where kissing like no man’s business, I got in the groove and moved my hand down to her b0s0m, then was I brought back to my senses cos the place was has dry has a firewood. She noticed my loss of momentum and right there she removed her top totally, I was shocked and I tried to look around but the place was has silent has a grave yard. With her top off, I got to see that she wasn’t that flat, at least there was something to play with, it was small but firm, straight away I was squeezing the african star apple in front of me and her kissing got more tensed, she then tried to move my mouth to those agbalumos, but I restrained and told her we need to stop, cause it was getting late and someone could just walk into us here.



Me: *if I sU-Ck this one now, how am I sure there is no lump there, make person no go get cancer of the mouth*
She got dressed and we both walked out of the premises. To my surprise there was no one left at point, I checked my phone and the time was past ten. FF escorted me and after walking about 30meters I told her to go back, but she insisted she won’t leave witout a kiss.
It was just a kiss oooo, but next thing I know was that we where under the shade of a closed shop, and my fingers had found their ways underneath her pant, I was finger fukcing her and she was m0an!ng in my mouth, one finger, two, three and her m0ans where increasing. My JT had become has hard has a rock and was trying to fight his freedom from apartheid like mandela did, but just like Mandela, my JT was to sufferlong today. Two minutes later I dis engaged from her and my fingers where filled with her fluid, then she took my fingers and straight into her mouth they went and licked all the fluid on them dry. Eewwww, I felt like throwing up. to make matter worse she tried kissing me with with a fluid filled mouth, I escaped her and told her goodnyt. She said she will visit me the next day.


****************************************


Got home it was past eleven, everyone was asleep or so I taught. So I silently sq££zed myself to the edge of the bed, then
KC: shey u think say we don sleep ni
Acme: guy na all ur body dey smell toto, abeg make someone on the light
Tj switched on the light and to my surprise they were all awake.


Tj: Mr am not in the mood, so this is how u are not in the mood abi
Acme: shebi u say u no like the babe
KC: Fernando flatscreeno
They were all laughing and mocking while I just ignored them
Acme: no think say u go sleep with all this smell wey u carry come this room ooo
Me: na una sabi….. I just took my sponge and bucket and moved out.


I could hear their screams and laughter while I was bathing. So I decide to just give them a tip of the story so that they could let me have my rest.
Acme: henhen, now the smell is different
Me: na u know ooo, but the girl no too bad like that sha ooo
This brought out the biggest and longest laughter from the house while I aslo joined in the laughter
Me: that girl can kiss ehnnn
Acme: she go sabi sU-Ck also
Me: I never confirm that one ooo
Tj: but u confirm the pitching tent sha
Me: hmmm alfa TJ, well, I just used my fingers to map out where the tent will finally stay ni. But we will be leaving in the tent by tomorrow evening, all things being equal.


Acme: all this happened when you are not in the mood, I can’t imagine what will happen when your mood finally come ooo
We all laughed and gisted till 12:45 and the it was time for extra cool cos no one felt like sleeping anymore.


Two weeks have passed since ife showed me her bandages, we became closer and closer and I also told her of Mama’s predicament.


After lectures on this fateful day, we sat on the walk way on block 6 and we had these conversations
Me: ife dear,how did this problem start?
Ife: which problem
Me: the lump issues
Ife: well, I can’t really say, but it was when I was in SS3 I first noticed it
Me: SS3? That means you were 15yrs
Ife: yea
Me: is that possible? A 15yr old? I doubt this
Ife: your name should have been Thomas, cause u doubt even after seeing proof
Me: am sorry dear, I just find it cruel and hard to believe
Ife: it was even my sister who noticed it when we were having our bath together
Me: really? Where u girls practising lesbobo ni, or why would she be checking your b0s0m
Ife: u are an eediot, why am I even talking to u
Me: na today u know say I be eediot, e don tey now
Ife: monkey
Me: same to u
Ife: thank God she even noticed it early enough, if she hadn’t, only God knows how many lumps I would have removed now.
Me: hmmmm
Ife: the only painful part of it all is the unending medications one is placed on. Everyday, I walk around with drugs, if I miss a week without those drugs I will become weak and my bones aching
Me: haaa this one is strong ooo, but wait are u SS?
Ife: na u go be SS
Me: on a serious note the bone aching thing is always common to SS patient
Ife: well, am not, infact am AA
Me: it is well ooo. So now there is no more lump to remove again
Ife: I hope so ooo, but when the first one was removed, that was what we taught, before we saw another one, and we operated that, then another one came on the other b0s0m.



Me: it is well oooo, but babe, shey your boyfriend dey sU-Ck your b0s0m like that
Ife: yes he does
Me: he sq££ze it too?
Ife: that depends, sometimes I want him to sq££ze it cause I love the feeling, but the pains I feel when he does discourages him, but he could only rub them with his palms
Me: hmmmmmm, so you have a boyfriend
Ife: henhen, am I too small
Me: yes you are too small, you are just 16
Ife: sidon there make pant they wear u
Me: I was even going to ask you out but was discouraged by your age
Ife: you better don’t even try it, cause you have been friendzoned
Me: lai lai, you and I know that if I ask you out you can say no
Ife: I like your confidence, but don’t get it twisted bro
Me: on a serious note, ife, from the first time I saw you, have had the soft spot for you
Ife: oga park well joor
Me: babe amm dead serious
Ife: if you are, why are you just saying it now
Me: maybe this is the best chance have got
Ife: or u are scared cos of the lumps
Me: not that
Ife: ok here is the deal…….