Must Read: Brother Wale - Season 1 - Episode 15

6 years ago

Must Read: Brother Wale - Season 1 - Episode 15

“so you cannot fight for me!’ Brother Wale said to a bed ridden SB.

[B]“But I was fighting for you na, that’s why I am here” The hospital bed was hard on my butt.

“Is it Timo that you are supposed to fight?”.
“I was fighting him because he insulted you”

My nyash never remained the same; it was peel off, I was a typical; “black body, yellow nyash”.

For the next few weeks I went through hell in school. His Royal highness Kpobo made sure school was hell for me, He drew me in the blackboard sitting on a pot of hot oil. And mehn Kpobo can draw! He drew my head so perfectly that deep down I commended him.
“burn-burn nyash how far! Make I see your nyash!” Kpobo said to me during break time.
“na that one make you dey pour me spit?” Kpobo was a watering can when he spoke.
“who dey pour you spit?” He grabbed my nyash.

“aaaaaaaah! My nyash! Oya sorry sorry sorry!”

I felt groundnut oil dripped off my a’ss.
“You! Why are you standing?” Mr. Audu the new mathematics teacher said.
“sir I have…….” I pointed at my behind.
“sir his bom-bom is bad!” Kpobo stood and said.

“His bom-bom oti baje” Yemi my best friend stabbed me, and the whole class laughed.
“What happened to his bom-bom?” Mr. Audu asked.

“Sir him fall inside oil wey them dey use to fry Akara” Yemi the information minister.
Even Mr. Audu couldn’t hide his laughter.

“SB my man!” Yemi ran to me as I walked home.

“you dey mad there! So na me you dey laugh for class abi?”

“I dey mad abi? You dey curse me say I dey mad because I tell them wetin happen to your nyash abi?”

“Yes, are you not a mad man? Can’t you frown your face while they were laughing?”
“okay sorry na”
“abeg comot here jor!”
“sorry na! Moi moi dey here oh” He offered.

“I no want!” That was initial “gra-gra”, I knew I would still take.

“the Moi moi sweet oh, where you buy am?” I munched.
“na for Mama Ekiti place oh” He informed.

I had forgotten, I had forgotten that I needed to prevent eating fart-fast-producing food like Moi Moi.

We were about 50 metres to our street when on fart came; “brruuuu!” my a’ss itched. The gas was responsible i guess.

“bruuutuu!” And it was very itchy.

“Yemi!” I called.
“ehnnn! Wetin?”[/B] He turned.
“help me scratch my nyash” I pleaded, “scratch am small small oh”

As Yemi c’aressed my a’ss for some seconds I was back to normal, but he paused.
“Continue na!” I was enjoying it.

“Hold it there! What are you doing to his a’ss?” I heard Brother Wale’s voice.

“I don’t have axe with me oh!” Yemi said.

“I turned and saw Grand Commander of the Federal Republic Brother Wale with his first lady Christy.

“He is not axing me oooh!”

“hahahahahaha!” Christy laughed.

“why are you laughing na! Yemi is not with axe na!” I cautioned.

“Will you shut up! I said what are you doing with his a’ss?” Brother Wale pointed.

“Okay! My nyash! He is just helping me to scratch it”

“He is helping you scratch you nyash abi?” Brother Wale frowned.

“Is your nyash scratch card?” Aunty Christy said.

“Na your Papa nyash be scratch!” I cursed.
“eehn! you say wetin?” She yelled.

That was the day I knew Brother Wale could do better than Usain bolt.