Must Read: Brother Wale - Season 1 - Episode 30

6 years ago

Must Read: Brother Wale - Season 1 - Episode 30

“Guy this your result na Father Francis Fried Five Fresh Fishes for Five Friends From France” Kpobo tongue twisted.

“You mean am!” Kolawole Joined.

“You, e concern you? Make we see your own?”

“See my own na!” Kolawole showed us his result.

“Efcc Efcc Efcc Efcc” was it.

There was no way I would had shown Brother Wale the Father Francis result when i got home, no way!

When I got home……………

“I heard you collected your result today, Can I see it” Brother Wale asked.

“Result! They did not give me result oh!”

“Why?” He stared right at my eyes.

“Why?”

“No Zee! Why didn’t they give you result?” He yelled.

“Because………………… Because………………… Because……………………” Liars cross.

“Because what?” He raised his voice.

“Because I owe toilet money” Lie established.

“And how much is this toilet money?” He asked.

“One thousand naira” I answered.

“One thousand naira is too much for toilet money na!”

“Brother they said I s’hit too much in the boys toilet, that is why”

If Yemi could score C5 in mathematics, then I lost hope.

“SB bring your own scratch card let us check your result!” Tolani said.

“Me?”

“Yes you na!”

“Me? I did not come here to check any result oh, I just escorted Yemi here”

“Don’t mind him oh, we came together to check our results, in fact his scratch card is with me!” Over-joyous Yemi offered his sister my scratch card.

“SB come and see your result!” Tolani announced.

“My result? I don’t want it, take it I dash you!” And everyone in the café laughed.

“Come I see it na!” And I was walking out of the café.

“SB where you dey go?” Yemi asked.

“Make person no piss again? I wan go piss!”

“Don’t worry I will help him print it!” I heard Tolani said as I walked out.

“Print am for yourself! Or use the paper go buy suya!” I whispered.

“God I know say I be sinner, I know say I be expert for lie, I know say I no dey read my book, Baba abeg I no wan fail…………………… If I pass this WAEC with Six credit I promise you say I go dey go church everyday” I said a short prayer.

“If I piss this piss finish I go go up go collect my result, anyhow wey dey result be I go take am like that” I pledged.

“eeeh! I never even zip down oh” I had peed on my trouser; about one litre of pee.

My trouser seemed like it was designed by a clothing company called “Wet Soul” as it was wet all through the upper half.

“Guy wetin wet your trouser na? You piss for body?” I met Yellow on my way upstairs.

“Which kin talk be that one? How I go piss for body, I be small pikin? Na one woman pour me pure water by mistake oh”

“You sure?”

“I sure na? Why I go dey lie for you! Make I carry you go see the woman?”

“No, forget that one abeg! You don check your result?”

“Yes oh! My result dey up dey wait me”

“You pass?”

“I never see the result oh, But I know say I go pass”

“SB see your result!” Yemi handed over a paper to me.

English C4, Biology C5, French E8, Economics C6, Chemistry C4, Physics C5, Igbo Language E8, Geography C6,…………………………………

“Where maths na?” I asked myself.
Mathematics C6…………………………… “Ope ooooh!” I yelled. My I had invented another slang to describe exam result; “Cece Winas”
“Ope ooooh! I pass maths oh!” I jumped.

“SB!” Tolani called; I thought she wanted to congratulate me for my success.

“ehnnnnnn Tolani love!”

“Why is your trouser wet?” She asked.

“Okay, it rained outside”