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Diala Aug 11, 2017 ( Post 1 )
Most people don’t realize that low self-esteem is a learned trait. No one is born with it. As it can be learned so can it also be unlearned, you only need to identify certain habits that support the existence of this trait in your life and eliminate them.
Naijaloaded helps you identify 5 of 10 habits in your life and daily routine that are lowering your self-esteem in the first part of the article.
TALKING YOURSELF DOWN
Whether verbally or in the recesses of your mind, constantly criticizing, insulting and belittling your own self is one of the fastest ways to drain your self-esteem. Avoid this ardently. Occasionally, it is normal to acknowledge your faults and imperfections, but you don’t have to start insulting and belittling yourself over it. Even if you must criticize yourself to learn from mistakes and failures, you should do it constructively – to learn your lessons, not cripple your self-confidence.
TRYING TO FIT IN
There are certain social situations that you have to learn certain attitudes, gestures and behaviors that will help you relate well with those in that setting (especially if it is an office or business luncheon or event). But after the event, you shouldn’t force yourself to go back to a life that constantly tramples on your self-esteem by making you feel awkward and out of place – a life that constantly makes you feel bad about who you are.
Rather than trying to fit in, find a place you actually fit into, find people that you can fit in with. Go back to a life that gives you peace, rest and joy – one that elevates and magnifies your sense of self-worth.
PERSONALIZING MISTAKES AND FAILURES
If you take every mistake and failure personally, you are only harming yourself unnecessarily. Mistakes and failures are synonymous with every human being. If you made no mistakes and had no failures, the fact that you are a human being will be doubtful. So why stress yourself and risk hypertension over something that happens to everyone at one point or the other, why allow it kill your self-esteem and self-belief.
Learn from your mistakes and failures instead; be sure it never happens again. Let the experience make you better and wiser. Let the experience and lessons learnt add to your self-esteem and confidence.
LETTING FEAR CONTROL YOU
Fear is the worst companion to have in life. Get rid of it, avoid it, ignore it, refuse to live with it, and more than anything else, don’t let it control you.
Do what you are afraid of. But before you do something you are afraid to do, prepare first. You can prepare by getting adequate information about what the specific thing entails. Talk to people, read books, basically do research about what it takes to succeed at it.
You can also study people who are doing or have already done the same thing to identify specific things they do or patterns they adopt to help them do what you hope to get done. Then, proceed to overcome your fear and do what you are afraid of. You are more likely to succeed. Just give it a try.
BEING TOO CONSCIOUS ABOUT HOW YOU ARE PERCEIVED BY OTHERS
Being too conscious about how you are perceived by others can honestly give you hypertension, high blood pressure or can significantly increase your stress levels. None of these are good for you, so please stop.
How you are perceived by others is something you can’t and will never be able to control. The best you can do is to define and understand who you are and work at being the best of yourself in all situations. Some will praise you for it, some will find you inspiring for it and some will consider you pretentious and unfriendly.
Unless you have invented a device or found a way to make people think the way you want them to think about you, let it go and work on being the best of yourself.
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