Must Read: Brother Wale - Season 1 - Episode 20

6 years ago

Must Read: Brother Wale - Season 1 - Episode 20

Brother Wale located SB the gutter man, carried me home like a baby, bathe me with warm water and la!d me to bed. What love for a brother?
Or was he high?

Yes he was high.

“Smoke small na” He offered as I tried catch sleep.

“I don’t want to smoke”

“One day you will have to learn how to smoke, weed is good for the health; it makes a man to be able to perform his duties”

“I don see you wey dey perform duties na?”

The first day I tasted weed, that day I saw why they said the sun rotates round the earth.

I was twelve and four foot tall, brother Wale gave me two wraps of weed to take home for him and as I got home I assured myself I would kill my curiosity that afternoon since no one was at home – Brother Wale had before then told me weed tasted like Vitamin C. And ooh my, I so loved Vitamin C the red one; I still love it.

Since there was no wrapping paper to wrap the weed with, I assured myself paper was paper so I tore a carton I saw in the kitchen.

I painstakingly wrapped the weed and said the Lord’s Prayer as I light the end. How dare you ask me what for? Didn’t your momma teach you to pray before meal?

I crossed my leg as I took the first drag, I coughed. I was feeling like the boss Rick Ross with a cigar; yes the carton was rolled perfectly like I was working in a cigar production company.

“This thing no sweet na!” I said, “e no sweet like Vitamin C na!”

I coughed so hard as I dragged more.
“yeeeh! Mogbe oh! My eye! My eye dey turn me” I tried standing up.

My eyes spun and I was seeing everything in twos, then later on in threes, but what I couldn’t comprehend was why I had five legs – where did the extra three come from?

“Get behind me Satan!” Our Sunday school teacher had told us that whenever we were in tough times we should quote that verse.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil” I tried walking.

“……………………… He maketh me lie down in green pastures” I was lying on the floor.

Then I freed the weed in my hand.
Within a minute or so I saw fire.

“Moses and the burning bush” I said.

“Fire oooh! Fire ooh!” I heard my mum shouted from outside.

“which fire?” I struggled to stand up.
I stood up, took three steps away from the Kerosene container that was on fire, stared at it for a while and said; “The sun is beautiful! Where is the moon?”

“The moon should be in your room” Someone told me.

“You be correct! How you take know?”

“I know na, I do literature, you don forget that book – The moon is above your bed?”
So I staggered to my room.

Standing close to the bed I looked at the ceiling to see the moon.

“But the moon is not here na?” I spoke.

“see it na! Can’t you see it?” My friend told me.

“who are you sef? I said I am not seeing it and you are telling me rubbish, shey na you get the room?”

“No vex na, as you no dey see am, sleep your head don full, just sleep”
And I slept.

I came back to reality from dreamland when water was sprinkled on me by brother Wale.
“ahaaan! What did I do?”
“Will you not go to school today?”
“Me? School? I will not go oh!”
“Why?” He asked.

“No reason sir!” The reason was that Kpobo was my new sit-partner according to Friday’s sit reshuffle.

“That reminds me? Where is the weed I gave you to keep for me?”

“Weed? Me? What is weed?”

“My friend where is the thing I gave to you?” He tapped my head and my brain reset.

“Okay! As I was coming to the house…………………… As I was coming to the house……………”
“eeeeheeen! As you was coming to the house what happened?”

“As I was coming to the house, one of the them fall from my leaking pocket, I still have one here” I dipped my hand into my pocket.

As he collected it, I positioned my head for a great knock but I was surprised seconds later there was none that landed on it.

“The kitchen was on fire yesterday, I would have been glad if you were burnt in the inferno!” He smiled.

“Really? How did you put off the fire?” I asked.

“I peed on it, and it went off” He answered.

“Okay! You should