Must Read: Brother Wale - Season 1 - Episode 23

6 years ago

Must Read: Brother Wale - Season 1 - Episode 23

Mathematics exam was the worse of exams in WAEC for me; others were bad; like in English paper I answered just fourteen out of the hundred objective questions, I concentrated on the theory questions and dealt with them, or so I thought.

On the day of mathematics I wrote well I must confess – in dreamland and not in reality.

“SB wetin dey happen na! why you dey sleep like this?”

“Guy I no well! My eye dey turn me” I think the quadratic equations I saw in the question paper spun my eyes and the Simultaneous equations combined with the Pap and beans I ate that morning caused me sleep.

“Young man, Why are you sleeping in the exam hall?” The invigilator asked.

“sir I think I am not feeling fine”
“Then go to the hospital!”
“m’umu! Make I go hospital leave exam wey I dey right abi?” I cursed within.

“SB! SB! Copy from my work!” Yemi changed sit and was sitting close to me.

I was writing and was sweating profusely, I wrote to a point that I couldn’t comprehend what I was to write next.

“Yemi I no dey see this equation wey you write here oh”
“which one?”
“this one na!” I pointed.
“hahahahahahahah! SB! SB!”
“why you dey laugh na?”

“That thing wey you dey call equation na my name na!” I cleared my eyes and saw that what I was about writing was “Yemi Morebeshe” His name written at the top of the page.

“Guy your handwriting na war oh!”

“You! Both of you stand up! Why are you talking in the exam?” I never saw the principal entered.

“Sir I was not talking oh, I just asked him to borrow me pencil” I lied.

“You asked him to borrow you pencil abi?”

“come with me!”
“Who? Me or him?”
“Yes you!”
“Sir where are we going to na?” I almost said.

“Permit me Mr. Invigilator, this young man is going to write the rest of this paper in my office, he is too stubborn, you can come and check on him from time to time!” The principal requested.

“No problem sir!”

“ooohh! God! I don roast be that oh! Yemi for no come show me work oh! He for leave me make I dey sleep my thing oooh!”

“Mtschwwww!” I hissed.

“did you just hiss?” The principal turned as we walked to his office.

“Me hissed? I dey craze? I was just singing!”

“what kind of song were you singing?”

The kind of Principal Mr. Eze was was the kind that needed to know even what the content of your bowel was.

“Gospel song!” I answered.

“Gospel song! Sang by who?” He asked.

“Sang by Timaya!” I answered.
“haaaaa! Is Timaya a gospel musician?”
“Yes he is!”

The morbid fragrance the principal’s office offered made me drew a conclusion that I had failed Mathematics already. But as I sat to write, an idea cropped in, “You know say you fit see maths textbook here?”

“na true oh!”
“Did I tell you to sit down?”
“Yes sir………………………… I mean No sir!” I stammered.

“That’s not where you will sit writing this exam; you will be in my inner chamber”

He locked the door to his main office ushering me to the “inner chambers”.

“sit down!” He offered.

“Sit where sir?”

“Sit on the bed”

In the history of mankind it has never being heard that anyone wrote an external exam sitting on a bed save SB. I was about to break history.

“Write on this table!” He brought a plastic table.

“Thank you sir”

“I will put on the AC for you so you will be very comfortable” He put on the Air conditioner.

“Thank you sir!”

“And before I forgot you said you don’t have a pencil” He was about leaving, “take this one!”

The environment was cozy yet there was nothing “upstairs” to write.

“Wetin this man dey use bed do for him office sef? Abi him dey use am dey arrange all this SS3 girls” That was the obvious.

“Fifteen minutes more!” The invigilators’ voice was loud enough.

Ten minutes of writing r’ubbish and I was in dreamland lying on the principal’s succulent bed; it was really soft compared to the stone we had at home we called bed.

In the dream Brother Wale was by my side helping me solve the mathematics problems, and later on helping the whole students in the hall write.

After the exam, i walked home